In two weeks I turn 18. I am sure that sounds like an exciting thing for most people. I am sure almost every teen is desiring to be a legal adult. Not me. The idea of turning 18 makes me feel sick. Little me is going to be an adult very soon. An adult. Me. Ugh.
Why do I not like the sound of it? Well, legally my childhood is over. I don’t like the sound of that. Growing up I had always dreamt of being older and I couldn’t wait until that day. Now I am wishing I could go back. I wish I could go back and grow up all over again. This time I would do things differently too. I would ENJOY being young. Yes, I understand that I am still young and I have many amazing years to come ahead of me, but years, hours for that matter, are flying by. They don’t stop either. They keep moving right along, so fast I barely get a glimpse. I try to reach out and just grab ahold of it, but that is not a power I have. Timing belongs to God. We are only given a certain amount of time. To be honest, I have not been a good steward of the time I have received. Maybe that’s why it seems like it’s going by too fast?
I want to learn how to live in the moment. How to take the time I have now and use it to the fullest advantage possible. I don’t want to worry about petty things any longer. I don’t want to worry about what others are thinking of me or if I will fail. I want to take hold of moments and opportunities that I may never get back.
So I guess instead of wasting time on dreading the fact that I am turning 18 I need to embrace it. I mean hey, I am still 17! I pray that I will become content with where I am at always. Time is a gift and I no longer want to waste it on meaningless stress and things. I am so ready to begin this journey of being chill with time. The only thing I am promised is this very moment.
Instead of visiting the wilting past and the barely sprouted future I need to stop and smell the roses in this beautiful garden that is called the present.
– This Journey of Mine
* I’m not sure if I am done writing about this subject of being 18, but at the moment I am content