Sometimes you can’t do anything, but cry. That is what I am doing at this very moment. I am so tired of stupid fears. They are the worst and I just want to strangle them until they have no more life left. I am not even sure if you can call it life, because all fears ever do is suffocate you. I am just so over being fearful.
I want to be bold. I want to be that person that can go up to anybody and everybody and talk to them like I’ve known them for years. But that’s not me.
I want to be that person who has no problem sharing my feelings and thoughts with others. But that’s not me.
I want to be confident. The kind that overtakes me and I can stand up for everything I believe in all of the time.
I want to be fearless. No more fears of talking to people, no more fears of failure, NO MORE!
I am so ridiculously over being wrapped up and
powerless over my fears. Deep down I know I can overcome it, through Jesus, but why the heck can’t I just get over it already? It’s so stupid. Of course I am blaming myself. I am pretty much surrendering to my fears, but not to God.
I tell myself, “One day I will get over my fears. One day I’ll be the person I have always wanted to be.” I now know that is a lie the enemy has been telling me. The sad part is I have believed it for far too long. BUT today I am going to rise up! Today is the day where I say “No more fears! No more lies!” Today is the day of becoming all I have ever dreamed to be, but most importantly, everything God has created me to be.
Are you with me? Let’s rise above and beyond the person we are now. Let’s strive to be better. God is with us EVERY step of the way. We just have to be faithful and continue to believe that God is still moving today, because He surely is! Let us triumph ALL of our fears and weaknesses right now!! It’s time we push that devil on the ground (why not add a few kicks in there too?!?) and tell him who our God is and what He is capable of!! In the name of Jesus I declare prosperity and victory!! Amen!!
-This Journey of Mine
In two weeks I turn 18. I am sure that sounds like an exciting thing for most people. I am sure almost every teen is desiring to be a legal adult. Not me. The idea of turning 18 makes me feel sick. Little me is going to be an adult very soon. An adult. Me. Ugh.
Why do I not like the sound of it? Well, legally my childhood is over. I don’t like the sound of that. Growing up I had always dreamt of being older and I couldn’t wait until that day. Now I am wishing I could go back. I wish I could go back and grow up all over again. This time I would do things differently too. I would ENJOY being young. Yes, I understand that I am still young and I have many amazing years to come ahead of me, but years, hours for that matter, are flying by. They don’t stop either. They keep moving right along, so fast I barely get a glimpse. I try to reach out and just grab ahold of it, but that is not a power I have. Timing belongs to God. We are only given a certain amount of time. To be honest, I have not been a good steward of the time I have received. Maybe that’s why it seems like it’s going by too fast?
I want to learn how to live in the moment. How to take the time I have now and use it to the fullest advantage possible. I don’t want to worry about petty things any longer. I don’t want to worry about what others are thinking of me or if I will fail. I want to take hold of moments and opportunities that I may never get back.
So I guess instead of wasting time on dreading the fact that I am turning 18 I need to embrace it. I mean hey, I am still 17! I pray that I will become content with where I am at always. Time is a gift and I no longer want to waste it on meaningless stress and things. I am so ready to begin this journey of being chill with time. The only thing I am promised is this very moment.
Instead of visiting the wilting past and the barely sprouted future I need to stop and smell the roses in this beautiful garden that is called the present.
– This Journey of Mine
* I’m not sure if I am done writing about this subject of being 18, but at the moment I am content